So it Was /
So it is Now
When I first imagined this series, I was in a place of uncertainty, fear, and loneliness. I was missing the simplicity of childhood – as I was graduating college and stepping into a new and uncertain future. It was about longing, hurting, and dealing with adult emotions and worries.
What I like about this collection is that after 4 years, the meaning changed. I was invited to bring my work here this spring in early 2021. I wanted to bring this work back out but found myself not relating to it as much as I used to. The 4 years in between shows brought challenges, yes – but I’ve found myself happy, and at peace with where I am in life – not longing for the past, but excited for the future and savoring the present. So how could I step back and re-evaluate what this body of work means to me?
At a wedding one November night, we saw a group of children dancing -taking off their shoes, laughing, running in circles, having the time of their lives. We couldn't help but notice how they were so carefree, not worried about what anyone thought of them, just enjoying the simplest things in life like you do when you’re a kid. It reminded us of the Beach Boys' song, “Child is the Father of the Man.” Brian Wilson had written a song before, asking “When I'm young and free, but how will it be? When I grow up to be a man?” To us, he was talking about trying to keep a little bit of that childhood ability to find excitement in everyday things.
I wanted to learn more about the lyric, Child is the father of the man. Looking it up, I found that it was taken from a poem by William Wordsworth called, “My Heart Leaps Up.” I found the first 5 lines of the poem to be a perfect summary of what this show means to me and used it for the title of this exhibition.
Each part of the series represents a different part of my journey to understand what I can gain from having all of these memories. A reminder to let myself find joy in the little things, and not let the stresses of adulthood cause me to take life so seriously.
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"My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is the father of the Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety."
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-William Wordsworth